two things we need more of

I need two things…slowing down and real connection. I believe we all do.

I believe we are living our lives way to fast and we are disconnected. I believe fast living and disconnection are the biggest problems in our world today.

Change cannot happen at a world-wide level unless we begin to change within ourselves.

We are speeding from one thing to the next. We are not paying attention. We are doing things to give our lives meaning but meaning cannot be found in doing.

We cannot hear the messages meant for us if we are moving too fast. We cannot hear the information the body is telling us if we are moving too fast. We cannot tap into the universal connection between all of us if we are doing too much.  We cannot find meaning without listening within. Meaning lies within us.

Meaning is in the moment your child tells you he loves you, in the air that sweeps past your face, in the plant that grows in your backyard, in the conversation with your best friend.

And the conversation with your best friend only has meaning if you are listening.

Because most of the time we aren’t listening to one another.  We are blaming, attacking, and comparing. We believe…I have it better than them or they have it better than me. We believe…something is wrong with me or something is wrong with them. We aren’t listening to how people are feeling. We immediately make it about us.  This creates dis-connection.

These are a few ways I slow down. They all lead to a simpler life so that I can listen within and create more meaning.

I keep less things around. More space, less things, less to do.

I don’t make a lot of appointments and I don’t spend a lot of time doing my hair, putting makeup on, etc.

I don’t pack my calendar. I say no to a lot. This means I don’t get invited to everything and I am okay with that.

I spend equal time with my kids, my love, myself and my family as a whole.

I go to the grocery store the same day and time each week. I exercise the same day and time each week. I do my laundry every Sunday. Of course if I am on vacation this shifts but I am flexible because I have time.

I spend money on things that make my life easier and more spacious. Things like a house cleaner, systems to make my business run more smoothly, and my very own life coach.

I spend a lot of time sitting in presence, listening.

Some of these are luxuries but all of them are choices.

Think of ways in which you can slow down and begin to implement them into your life.

Slowing down leaves space for real connection.  Real connection is conscious conversation. Conscious Conversation is listening and witnessing each other in the experience, honoring each other, asking questions to learn more about one another, and truly being present together.

It begins with the practice of truly listening to another person without speaking about yourself or offering a story about you that compares to them. You simply listen and then you ask questions to learn more. You only speak about yourself if they ask or they are completely done.

When you practice this you will learn more about yourself and others than you imagined possible and it will open you up to what real connection feels like.  You will become more and more aware of yourself and others and you will be part of ending separation. It will be something you crave deeply the more you practice. And you will slow your life down so that you can have more of it.

Change starts within.