Since really exploring all of these emotions, I have realized that feeling is one of the most important aspects of living. When we can truly feel everything our response system heightens and we are able to respond to any situation with all of our senses. In this way we actually experience safety.
This is counterintuitive. It seems that when we truly feel ALL of it, we will have to shield or guard ourselves. But actually what we discover is the opposite. The more we feel, the more we know how to respond which keep us safe. I will talk more about this in the next blog.
For now, let’s talk anxiety and worry. Anxiety and worry are future focused emotions. They are definitely time based emotions, as you will discover in my examples below.
When I experience anxiety or worry (which was one of my go to emotions for a long time) I am concerned with something that is potentially going to happen in the future. Potentially being the key word here.
So what is the information in it? Especially if it is based on something we anticipate could happen.
If you are worried or have anxiety, look at what your thoughts are. What are you feeling anxious about? What are you feeling worried about?
Then ask yourself if there is any truth in it. Do you have actual past experiences that prove you right?
Anxiety or worry is based on something we feel we don’t have control over. We tend to blame ourselves for it and we don’t trust the outcome of our life.
Guess what, we have little control over anything actually. Anything at all. We have control over how we respond to any given situation and that’s about it.
So it is an emotion that teaches us to let go! To surrender! To trust the process of our life.
Worry and anxiety takes us away from our current life. They takes us away from the beauty that is right in front of us.
It also means that whoever or whatever we are worried or anxious about are really important to us. We only worry or feel anxious about things we care A LOT about.
There is probably some kind of reassurance we desire and a kind of way we are not trusting.
Both are important when we feel these emotions. We will probably have to ask for some kind of support or create some kind of system that lessens this emotion and helps us to feel in control. Usually it relates to communication of some sort or an action we must take.
And then we must learn to let go and trust and realize we do not have control over the outcome of our love life, business, money, death, traffic, or anything else.
A long time ago I worried every time my husband would get into the car and drive somewhere. I worried he was going to get in an accident. If I saw an accident on the freeway or heard of one I would worry it was him. When I felt into the anxiety and worry, I realized that it was because I loved him so much I didn’t want anything to happen to him. And so I communicated that to him. I told him my worry and my feelings and I asked him to support me by letting me know if he was going to be later than expected. Or where he might have gone that is different than expected. At first I had to remind him several times because he would forget but after a while he remembered and now he always does it and I don’t worry anymore. I had to also work with trusting that he would be okay no matter what and so would I. While not easy, I would repeat trust the process, trust the process, trust the process, this is love, this is love, over and over.
I also used to worry about being late. I would get so anxious every time the clock struck 12:00 or 3:00 or 5:00 (whatever time I was suppose to arrive) and I was still in the car traveling to my destination. I realized that for me it was respectful and important for others to know that when I say I will be somewhere, I will be there. I related being late to being disrespectful. I worried others would be waiting on me and potentially be worried about me. I worried others might be angry at me for making them wait. When I realized all this I decided respect also comes in communication of being late. If I communicate about my time then I could relax. As soon as I know I am going to be late, I let the person I am meeting know and it relieves my emotion. In this example I would also say to myself, trust the process, trust that I will arrive exactly when I am supposed to.
So I began to trust the process of my life. I began to trust that everything happens for a reason and that I was not in control. I relaxed into my life. Trust was a huge for releasing this emotion. And it was on of the greatest lessons I have learned.
I notice too that stimulants such as caffeine can create more worry or anxiety. So if you feel these emotions often and you struggle with them, you may want to think about staying away from coffee for a while 🙂
Otherwise feel it, be with it, take action to communicate and trust and move on.
1. Feel the emotion
2. Notice what you are worried or anxious about.
3. Take action or communicate to relieve it.
4. Become present to your surroundings.
5. Have gratitude and become aware of opportunities that are right in front of you.
6. Say to yourself, “Trust The Process”