As I approach my 40th birthday I am faced with an interesting exploration. One which sounds like…
FINALLY I made it…
AND…what if…this is it?
As many say, after 40 it all goes down hill. My belief has always been after 40 it all goes uphill.
I got this belief from my mom, who has always said the best years of her life were in her 40’s.
I clearly remember when my mom turned 40.
We were in our backyard having a gathering for her. I was 9 years old and I remember looking up at the sky and seeing an airplane moving across the sky with a banner on the back that read…”Lordy Lordy Inez Is Forty”. I will never forget that banner but even more so I will never forget the smile on my mom’s face.
She looked so happy and that has always secured my belief that “The best years of my life will be my 40’s”
And so I have I looked forward to the day I would turn 40 and quite possibly an airplane would fly over my house with a banner that said, “Lordy Lordy Shauna’s Forty” and I would smile liked my mom smiled.
(That’s my mom! Doesn’t she have a great smile!!!)
But something different came up. I kept thinking, what if she was wrong all along and that dreadful saying is right, “What if it all goes downhill after 40”? What if it isn’t the best years of my life?
So I inquired about this and realized that there has been a struggle that I have been playing with since that day. I have been patiently awaiting 40 so that I could have the best years of my life. And I was hurrying to get here so that I could have the best years of my life. And I was missing the best moments of my life that were happening all the years before now.
And now I am here.
There is a sadness when I look at this. The sadness comes from a story I have been telling myself that is not really true. It is a small picture of the bigger picture. A small part of a bigger story.
My life has not been a set of only mediocre or ordinary experiences. My life has not been all about waiting for the best years of my life.
My life has been filled with fun and heart warming experiences.
Wild and crazy nights.
Choices that were not only hard but brave.
Embracing love head on.
Entering motherhood, arms wide open.
Deep dives into my heart to find what I deeply believe in.
Courage to stand up for myself and be me fully and completely.
A message of acceptance and divine love that could not have surfaced if I had not embraced every single moment of my life.
And now I am here. An authentic beautiful women has arrived and she is turning 40!
Today I surrender to a new story which sees extraordinary moments and ordinary moments and embraces all of them. One that does not put any pressure on the future to be better than my past but encompasses all that I am and all that I will be in this moment. Because THIS is the only moment that I have.
So now I say CHEERS TO 40!!!
With Love + SO much Appreciation,
PS: Are you approaching a milestone? Do you have strong feelings around it? If so I would love to hear in the comments below.